Don't be afraid

Is there anything in life that really scares you ? Grown up scared, not teen horror film scared ?

There probably is. Most of us have things that really do worry us. If we have children, we can be terrified of something happening to them. If we've made a lot of money, we can be afraid of losing it, or of someone else taking it from us. If we've done something wrong, we can be extremely nervous about it being known.

If you are expecting this blog post to say "Don't be afraid", then you'll be disappointed.

You may have heard the expression "The only thing to fear is fear itself". Do you believe this ? Is it universally true ? I don't think so. We should rightully be afraid of some things, but the issue is what we do about it.

Here's what coaching has to say about fear. "False Evidence Appearing Real". Neuroscience tells us that practically all fears are "manufactured" in our minds. They are not innate.

But in terms of us, our lives, our decisions, our performance, does fear play a part in what we do ? Again, referring back to the neuroscience, it most certainly does. It plays a huge part in our decision making and behaviour.

The first question I'd like you to consider is this one :

"What do you know you are absolutely afraid of, and are able to articulate it in such a way that doesn't cause you any discomfort, anxiety or emotional stress? "

Do you have any fears that fall into that category ? Maybe you do, but many of us don't. There are things that we are afraid of, but we aren't fully reconciled with them.

The second question I'd like you to consider is this :

"Are there any behaviours or decisions that you take that you don't really feel are right ? Even though you can justify them externally? "

Most of us do !! We do stuff that we know isn't really the best thing to do... but we do it anyway.

Could fear be behind it ?

I'm not an advocate for closing your eyes and jumping. A lot of fear has genuine origin. People that have had experiences that have had a fundamental effect on them have fear mechanisms to help ensure that they are better prepared in the future.

But I am an advocate for listening to them, and analysing them. There could be some really useful learning in there that you could pick up and use. Or some barriers that are holding you back, without you really being conscious of what they are, or when they are kicking in.

Remember, we are extraordinarily competent at justifying our own behaviour. But it takes another human being to help us understand the true reasons why we do things.

It needs structured dialogue to get there. Our fears are like advisors, but we don't always recognise them as such. Once we uncover their message, it can be really valuable and constructive.

In summary, "Don't be afraid" ?

Don't be afraid to use fear as a clue to what's making you tick.